When Love Takes A Long Time: Cutting Your Losses

When  To Cut Your Losses

When Love Takes A Long Time:  Wedding Report and Marriage Statistics

How Long is Too Long – Never Mind That List of “Shoulds” In Your Head When Love Takes A Long Time!

For purposes of when love takes a long time – I am talking about being in a relationship for two years or longer.

I can understand when love takes a long time because of an unplanned event, really.

“I wonder if it’s possible to have a love affair that lasts forever.”  ~ Andy Warhol


It is argued that, “if someone is in a committed relationship for two years or longer and you aren’t engaged, then dump them.  After two years, it is argued that when love takes a long time, you are only going to be, “great friends.”  But, you’re probably, ‘great friends,’ with your brother and/or sister too (Eeeewwwwwwwicky).

When Love Takes A Long Time: Define, “Being Careful”

I can see being careful, taking your time, yes.  Where I struggle understanding is taking over two years to decide if you are with, ‘the right one.’  It is only okay if you both feel comfortable with that timeline.  Otherwise, I believe that after two years, if making the real love decision about whether the person you are with is the, ‘right one for you,’ is too long in a’ tired excuse’ sort of way (IMHO only).

When Love Takes A Long Time:  Decide What’s Too Long

You know (You really do!  In your heart you know) in two years if the other person is just hanging on so they don’t have to be alone, is mentally unbalanced,  or mentally sane, and definitely whether they want to get married – OR NOT.

I will personally disagree with when love takes a long time partially – being a tired excuse. When you are in a relationship and know if you are with the right person or not may take you longer to decide for countless reasons. I don’t mean whether you need to be planning a marriage or spending the rest of your lives together, but if you are with that, “One.”  My belief is that when love takes a long time that taking your time is a wise decision – As long as it is mutual. I don’t really see how a time limit can be set on marriage or long term partner decision.

My dearest friend was married awhile back. They began dating each other after college. They dated five years before deciding to get married and waited another two years while they planned their wedding.  After 19 years of marriage, ‘bliss,’ that couple is divorced.

When Love Takes A Long Time:  Yardsticks to Use

It all depends on people individually and what is good for them – What feels ‘right.’

When Love Takes A Long Time:  Fears

Some people get caught up in the idea of being in love and a fear of loneliness (being alone).  According to my hypothesis,  some people believe they should not live together because of religious beliefs, so they quickly jump into a marriage – “A marriage is better than being alone,”  I’ve heard people say.  That thinking always made the hair on the back of my neck stand up as well as getting my running shoes out in plain sight.

When Love Takes Too Long:  Marriage And Divorce Statistics

“Provisional number of marriages and marriage rate: United States.  Source: CDC/NCHS National Vital Statistics System cite these facts:

2014 Marriages = 2,140,272 (Or 6.9% per 1,000 total population surveyed )

2014 Divorces/Annulment = 813,862 (Or 3.2% per 1,000 total population surveyed)”

Translated that means that marriage and divorce are scary close – Nearly half the people who get married, will get divorced.  These statistics also show a decrease in young persons marrying between years 2000 and 2014.  Statistics from this report show people are waiting to get married.  The median marrying age for men is now 28.3 and for women it is 25.8 years old.

No information is available on the amount of people living together or length of relationship before marriage.  Without that data, it appears that staying together when love takes too long doesn’t seem to truly matter whether people live together – or not.

When Love Takes Too Long: Living Together – Or Not

Having experienced both situations, living together never proved to me that it was the ideal way to get to know each other.

Either you are in a committed relationship – or you are not.  Leaving your toothbrush at someone’s house no more makes that commitment happen than standing in your garage makes you a car.  Truth.

Waiting at least two years is a good way to decide about any future commitment.  You’ll know (without any doubt), in two years time,  whether or not you should give your ‘friend,’ a hall pass to go away, or start making long term plans.

When Love Takes Too Long:  Love At First Site

I knew within three (3) seconds that my husband was right for me.  He showed up on my doorstep and we dated for 12 years.  That time was precious.  He is the perfect lifetime mate for me.  Everyone is different.  We had logistic and job distances that kept us from cementing our relationship with marriage.  It felt right. It was right.

When Love Takes Too Long: Real Commitment Versus Illusion

Real Commitment takes its time. It is truly not in any kind of hurry.  If you want to know how a child will turn out don’t look at him or her in their infant stages because infancy is no predictor of anything.  Watch them once they have reached maturity.

Whose Fault Is It Anyway – Who Is To “Blame” When Love Takes Too Long

Fifty percent of ANY relationship is 100 percent YOUR fault.  Nobody is to “Blame.”  Move on and don’t play games.  Just go if you are the one with marriage in mind and the person you are with is not marriage-minded.

When Love Takes Too Long:  Time To Cut Your Losses

If you have a little voice in the back of your head who is voicing any (And I do mean ANY concerns), then please trust your instincts and listen to that voice!  Trust your inner voice and ANY hesitations you are feeling.  Now it is time grab those running shoes and get out!

If you’re experiencing doubt or hesitation on either persons part, shed those extra pounds of mental anguish and let them go.

One man expressed himself this way,” I just lost 130 pounds.”  Of course everyone was amazed and asked him how he ‘did it.’  “I broke up with my partner,” he smiled enthusiastically.

When Love Takes Too Long:  What Next

The next person you meet could be the one you were waiting for while you were waiting on a love that just takes too long.

“If you never want to see a man again, say, ‘I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children…’ – they leave skid marks.” 

~ Anonymous

Mischelle Watkins, Author